In my last post, I noted that there are two responses that follow sexual attraction – one, a deeper human-needs based response, and the second a sexual response.
For example: John sees Jill and immediately thinks, “Wow.” The two levels of reaction will work on a massive spectrum. The desire to connect to another human is connected to a human want of being loved, understood, cherished, appreciated, and/or cared for. John may think, “This is a girl that I’d like to spend the rest of my life with.” He may have no thoughts whatsoever of maintaining any relationship. This is usually working on a level below the surface. We don’t normally walk around feeling a loneliness that is awakened on a conscious level when we look at the right person. However, it is there. When a person is on a high enough level, there is little to no desire to connect deeply to a person to whom you would otherwise be sexually attracted.
John’s second response is more immediate, and more in his easily perceived consciousness. He may comment on Jill’s looks or a particular body part. There is even a chance that he will, within seconds, express a desire to engage in a particular activity with this person who he knows nothing about.
These two responses are not mutually exclusive. Some people are so shallow as to only want physical connection. Some are so real as to fully recognize their spiritual selves and keep focused on the shallowness of the surface sexual attraction. Most of us have a balance.
The point that I want to make here and now (which I hope/plan to develop much more fully) is that when a person calls him or herself gay, straight, or bisexual, all it means is that when they look at a person of the same, opposite, or either sex, that is when they have these feelings.
Huh? Why go to such lengths to define things like this? Simple.
There is a world of difference between the following two statements:
“I’m lazy.”
Or:
“I struggle with laziness.”
To say, “I’m lazy,” is to limit yourself. That is what and who you see yourself as. Story over.
To say that you struggle with your laziness is to recognize your weakness. It leaves hope. You recognize that you can improve.
So too, there is a world of difference between the following two statements:
“I’m gay.”
Or:
“I find myself aware of sexual attraction when I look at a person of the same sex as me.”
I have gay friends/readers. Let me preempt you. Chill out. The analogy does compare homosexuality to laziness. It does imply that it, too, is a less than ideal state. It is only an analogy. It is meant to make a comparison. I will develop this comparison more as we go and explain it more clearly. This is a blog and not a novel. Chill.
